Becoming a Mom.

I’m sure there has been a million blog posts about what it’s like to be a mom, but for some reason I felt compelled to tell my side. Although I have only been a mom for about 6 months now, it hasn’t always been what I thought it would be.

When you’re pregnant, people will tell you all about how much you will love your child and how little sleep you will get. Sure, there will be many sleepless nights. What they don’t tell you is that you will hear every tiny peep your baby makes. You will be so afraid that you won’t wake up when they need you, but you will I promise. After your baby starts sleeping through the night, you will still wake up just to stare at them and make sure they’re still breathing.

People tell you all about how hard giving birth is, but they don’t tell you about recovery. Postpartum is unlike anything you will ever experience. Not only are you trying to keep a tiny human alive, but you are trying to navigate this new body that is trying to heal. Crawling out of bed, peeing, and even walking is painful for a few weeks, if not longer. No one tells you that you will be SO emotional. I had my first mental breakdown at 1 week postpartum and I felt like my world was crashing in on me. Your spouse goes on with life as normal and you feel completely alone. They are there to help, but you don’t always feel like they are actually “there”

People don’t tell you that once your body starts to heal, you are left with a saggy and wrinkly stomach. They don’t tell you that when people compliment you, you won’t know how to take it because you are struggling on the inside. You may look great to others, but you know your body will never look like it used to. You have this weight on your shoulders to get back to your “normal” whatever that may be. What your body did was AMAZING, period. But that doesn’t mean you won’t beat yourself up about this new body and the way it looks.

People tell you that you will never love anything more than your child. This rings so so true. What they don’t tell you is how being a mom takes precedent in your life. You lose yourself in motherhood– you don’t really know who you are anymore, besides a mom. You want nothing more than to go out and do something by yourself. When you finally do get out, you feel so guilty about leaving that you hurry home. (Or maybe that’s just me? Haha!)

During maternity leave, I was pretty anxious. I loved being home with my son but I hated sitting still. People don’t tell you how alone you will feel in those first few months. Even now, you still feel alone sometimes and like nobody truly understands what you’re going through. Trust me, I do and I see you. Nobody tells you that every mom has felt everything you are feeling. Being a mom is the greatest feeling I have ever experienced. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but boy is it worth it.

People don’t tell you that when your child looks up at you and smiles, nothing else matters. All of your problems and worries, gone. They don’t tell you that your heart will burst with joy when they smile as you walk through the door. All of the lows, pain, recovery, it’s all worth it. Nobody tells you everything, but know this– it’s the best damn thing that will ever happen to you.